Escaping The Perfect World
Ego plays its ambiguous power games over all things, minus the details necessary to fuel the process. In other words, the inner workings of how things work destroy the absolute image of inescapable domination and absolute fulfillment and so they are blurred out of focus, instead the end result being the prime prize (within its point of view). It doesn’t help that capitalist society fuels this process which is why it is so successful as it is because it plays off of human nature. The rest suffer the consequences with little regard by the bigger shots, the same basic problem that has permeated throughout human history. But when one is surrounded by an endless comfort of living: endless water supply, endless groceries, endless television, endless porn then who would want to leave this perfect world? Human history is littered with conflict and struggle, the struggle to maintain a decent lifestyle to live on and with modern day comforts, who would want to leave…especially when there is little left to enjoy in our lives?
Unfortunately, the future is not so kind. If Typhoon Haiyan taught us anything, it’s that apocalyptic environments are on their way and fast. This is seen in the news with the numerous amount of sinkholes/water line bursts, earthquakes, natural disasters, early sunrise/sunset, moon out of place and so forth. Even with all of this evidence, what is the factor that keeps us from preparing for such an environment? Modern day living? Sure, going to work everyday then coming home for a good dinner then watching some mindless fun could be considered modern day living. I think anything considered to be mindless fun would fall under that category in general. In a world with increasing danger, uncertainty and insecurity of one’s environment, it is natural for humans to turn off their concentration and indulge in mindless activities. Imagining living inside of an apocalyptic world doesn’t seem to be a possibility for many people. Perhaps it’s because they have a hard time letting go of their own comfortable lifestyles? I would be included in this as well, so they are not alone in this. While I see what needs to be done, the question is how can I go about it.
In order to survive the coming economic issues and natural disasters, a DIY approach must be taken. This is pretty much a requirement. This doesn’t mean that you have to know everything about a house works, although that would be useful knowledge. But it does mean that you need to be good at something, other than whining for more fast food, cheap electronics, shitty sitcoms and free government handouts. It’s easy for children to become complacent once they’re given free food and cash without having to work for it. But take that away and they naturally complain and whine about not having it anymore. The core problem seems to be the same with people: spiritually, we are adolescents of the universe and once you take away the government handouts and grocery stores, we all bitch and complain. No one wants to do the hard work. Everyone wants to live a life of excess and luxury without having to pay for it. Too bad an unchanging society is entropy’s bitch. Why do you think people are getting crazier out there?
So the big question is: how does one go from a full time job living a life of comfort to being a self sustainable DIY’er (especially with debts to pay off)? The frame of mind is of course one of the problems, but what lies in the heart is also the issue. I’m going to have to work through this and see what I can do. Being independent in body is not one of my strong points and is probably one of the reasons why I don’t talk to a lot of people. Of course, thought wise this isn’t an issue but how can this be applied to physical reality?
It seems I have to make some fundamental changes to some of my characters if I intend to survive what is coming. All of the changes will come if I do this correctly, imagine them correctly. This high standard of living must be lowered if I am able to do what I wish in the future. No more fast food after work. No more excessive online purchases. Donations will have to be lowered. Basically, anything that is not considered to be essential will be lowered or cut out of the budget. The second thing is realizing what the dumbing down of America has done to people, and what you need to do in order get yourself back in your own game. People have been reverting to the emotional mentality of children in the face of the transformation and the exact opposite is what needs to be done. You must think for yourself, stand up to the plate and achieve. Great results do not come without hard work. You know this. The shortwave antenna installation is a great example. You just need to resist the dumbing down of intelligence sweeping the nation.
Core Truths: Relationships under the cover-up
[A small note as written during work a few weeks ago]
Once you know this information, it becomes near impossible to try and begin a relationship with someone else, even if they’re friends. The more truth becomes evident in daily life, the more people try to escape that awful “feeling,” burying their heads deeper in the sand. To those who still have a level head that looks to the sky rather than the ground, it becomes clear that people are getting crazier, acting crazier in their quest of denying what they see. Unable to imagine a simpler life, they cling to material assets, to what comforts them rather than envision the alternatives. A privileged lifestyle is hard to let go of, after the hardships humanity has experienced throughout its history. People met, once discovering the core truth, run. They are like a river, you meet them but they must move on, too slippery to hold on to.
My anxiety runs high today. It seems likely that something important will happen in the future soon.
Desert of Sanity
We survived, indeed that’s all we can do now in this place. Just survive, fight off the lingering onset of insanity with all the will you can muster. It was a mess, that storm. The roads the next day was like driving through an obstacle course, trees hanging across the road. May as well used a ATV. Whole place is a beautiful house of cards to begin with, and we forget its danger after a while. We forget how our lives are supplied…not on site, but from elsewhere.
The power went out Saturday, October 29 and it was not restored until Friday, November 4. I’ll admit, I did not take a shower that entire time and I stank pretty good. So did the toilet after a while, but that was because I never learned how to manually flush one until Friday rolled along. But I dealt with it. Can’t fix something? You deal with it and use what you got. Those flashlight nights won’t be forgotten anytime soon, nor will reading and writing by an oil lamp in the dark. I felt like I was back in the 18th century, a revolutionary ready to make my position in the world known. But like all dreams, it ended on Friday when power was restored. I then went to a local Irish pub and had some well earned drinks and a pizza burger…which did not come out the other end very well, mind you.
Life went back to normal, save with the lingering memory of the “horror” of being without power for a week. Due to that experience, I had some idea of what the sheep had to go through…the same sheep that stormed into department stores today, Black Friday. Seemingly forgotten like a bad dream, they returned to the comfort they love too much. To say they’re programmed for this is an understatement. These are the same sheep that watch TV 24/7, so being selectable to neuro linguistic programming, subliminal programming and many others, this is the end result. The disaster did not shake them from their mental state because they do not think for themselves, were not taught to think for themselves. Anyone who is awake can eventually escape programming after a few days, or a week for the nasty stuff. But if you let external ideas enter your mind and let them direct your thought process cause it “feels good man,” well I hope you enjoy that life. That’s all I can wish for someone who deliberately takes that path.
People have truly gone insane. This is probably the reason why I’ve been distancing myself from others again lately. I’m starting to realize people’s dependency on what lies outside of them and how they allow it to program themselves. People have all sorts of insecurities and fears, partially perpetrated by those human hands above us and partially an actual problem within the core of the human involved. I feel that one of my major purposes in life is to fine tune my flesh machine to my choice, to rid myself of anything hindering me like insecurity and fear. Inner development is extremely important to a more evolved existence, especially in a world like this. The world you see is the world within you. To arrive at that conclusion is a major journey in of itself.
So what happens when you have a group of friends that are no longer matching the pace of evolution of your inner world? Or perhaps, your inner world morphs into a different place that no longer matches that you see outside of you. You can try to keep your friends, but you’ll find by gut feeling, that things seem out of place. No longer are the same thoughts and feelings transferable via the unconscious thought network, and instead you’ll be dealing with figures from a past development of your inner self. You will feel a growing dichotomy with your friend’s inner world (and the direction it is taking) in proportion to your evolving inner state. This is nothing but natural, as dreams themselves morph and grow all the time based on physical experience and desires of the spirit. It is that human side of us, that fleshy egotistical side of us that bears the physical pain of it all. Where to go from here? Do I create the next state, the next reflection of myself within myself?
I write this because I’ve been feeling myself growing more and more distant with my older friends lately. It may be because of a growing awareness of the inner workings of people themselves, and much to my expectation most do not develop their works inside of them. There are a good number that do seem to work with their dreams inside of them, but they do not tread the deeper roads of life. There are a few I know that seem to do this however and am glad to find that I am not alone on my path. Each path lies next to a similar one, slightly different in scope but very similar. When one disciplines themselves and programs their own rules for manifestation, it becomes easier to do this. I do hope that I wont lose them, despite the growing distance that I feel and the mental arguments I have with their avatars inside my mind. Perhaps my mind is more open than theirs, and I have a desire to help them reach this state but my gut tells me that progress would be slow if there is progress at all and there are many barriers to overcome if this was to be attempted. These developments have all occurred after the snowstorm of October 29. It has definitely changed far more than the landscape. It has also accelerated my growing attitude of them and of the superficial thinking that often goes on in our group. Perhaps this is just me wailing at all the differences between us, or perhaps wailing about not finding anybody else with my own peculiar interests. If that’s the case, then the gaming group remains a gaming group and I need to find another group for my own odd interests. I need something where my mind can breathe.
The End Steps On
I overheard my dad commenting how this was the earliest snow that he’s ever seen in his life. Granted, it is very early but that’s thanks to the Earth changes that are now apace due to you-know-what that I shouldn’t talk about openly, not even on my own blog.
Most people did not expect this storm. I told my friend about it and it was one of those “oh hai” moments for him. Many people this afternoon were rushing like crazy, surprised to find such an early nor’easter at their doorstep. The blending of the seasons has gotten more and more noticeable, just as with the general blending with the status quo and rationality. The clash between these two states of mind have exploded out into the open, with arguments at work about how things have taken a turn for the worse, combined with each one’s self-justification of one’s actions like we all see in the movies. It’s one way to cope, one way to keep ourselves afloat amongst a sea of negativity and confusion. How else do we explain the walls, the foundations of society crumbling around us and yet those above us ignore our pleas and questions?
All of this make me cherish my days in childhood when ignorance of what was to come kept me in a state of bliss, albeit internal. But that was the past, and I have to look forward now. Even as I type this, the lights flicker from the winds this storm brings. I’m reminded that I have little time left before we are all gone. My survival plans had somewhat stalled in favor for creature comforts that my mind seemingly cannot relax without. Perhaps it’s due to the stress I face at work everyday. Just like everyone else, I need an escape at least for a short time. It remains in the back of my mind, something that I should be bringing out into manifestation more often. I bought a hiker’s backpack that can store many things, but that’s only one of many things I’ll need. A hatchet is next and has been for a while. Waiter boiler, first aid, maybe some iodine tablets and many other things remain. However, all of this is part of a ratio to how much I distract myself from the inevitable, so the situation is a bit paradoxical. I just hope my faltering won’t eventually destroy what I had originally planned out for surviving.
I struggle with other things, but at least one major problem has been identified and is currently being phased out of my life: porn. Contrary to what people believe, porn is a major cause of lack of satisfying sexual performance for a countless number of men. It defines the sexual education of an entire generation, to the point that denial tells that erectile dysfunction is a normalcy.
This site sums up the problem very well.
Basically, porn is a major dopamine rush, that chemical that makes us get excited whenever we see a new car, read a new book, see a delicious pair of tits and so forth. Sexual activity is a major dopamine rush, but here’s the thing. With porn, the brain cannot tell the difference between a babe in real life versus a babe on your screen. So as you click through each picture every 10 seconds or so, that dopamine is rushing to your brain like crazy in an endless season of heat to the point that the pleasure originally felt becomes numbed down due to desensitization. What does this do? It creates cravings for more to return to that original state of sensitivity. This means looking at more and more extreme porn to satisfy this desire. See where this is going? It is a downward spiral so intense that most men seem to be completely unaware of it, which just goes to show you how primitive we still are.
I’ve been off of it for only a week now and am already noticing several differences. Certain modes of perception seem to have returned, including rational and conscious observation of the environment, increased positivity in mood and opinion, decreased social anxiety and increased motivation to name a few. It may be a few months before I return to my original state before I started my porn career…back when I was 13. It will be a challenge to be sure, but then again you know me and challenges. I find them exciting. Hell, the very fact that I stated all of this outright shows how less anxious I am now about the subject and that’s a good sign overall.
On the gaming front, I have recently purchased a new Xbox 360 S series. It has built in WiFi which makes things amazingly easier. An included HDMI port also makes me happy, as I can now view games in full digital 720p. With the purchase, I’ve been able to go through a backlog of 360 games, including Tekken 6 and Marvel vs Capcom 3. The latter is far more entertaining than the former, especially since the game includes 2 assist characters alongside your main, so each match is essentially a 3v3. The 3 character hyper combo is also pretty sweet I should add. But despite those two games, I’ve been playing Pinball FX 2 far more lately. Maybe I am a pinball junkie and just haven’t admitted it to myself yet.
Latest happenings
Had a fallout with Scott and Andrew on June 4. That was a bad day. Somewhat lost control of my patience with several card games, although that largely has to do with unspoken rules. I haven’t talked with Andrew since then. It’s probably better that I don’t. I seemed to have made amends with Scott though, as we both hung out yesterday. I showed him the first 9 episodes of Legend of the Galactic Heroes, he seems interested in borrowing the rest of it sometime.
Lately, seeing how the economy is doing, I’ve been thinking about my survival preparations. I ordered several things this week, one of them being a hand-crank lantern that uses LED’s. It’s one of the things that’s been on my survival agenda. The next thing I want to get is a hand-crank shortwave radio of some type, possibly an antenna along with it. It would be nice to listen to shortwave stations across the world from a self-powered radio.
I got my dad a book for Father’s Day, called “Solar Projects for the Evil Genius.” I think he’ll like it, at least to some degree.
The Journal of Ironfoot 